Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A Robot Story

Spandex House was alive and buzzing with activity. Floor to ceiling colors, patterns, sparkles.  Staffers running frantically to and fro, phones ringing, bolts busily unfurled across cutting tables, and then... I heard it.

I ignored it at first.  Just a blogger doing my due diligence, checking to make sure they also own Elastic Wonder before I blog about it.  And they do.  Feeling like an addict, I needed to get out of there, with my wallet still intact.

"Come here." it commanded.  A deep, electronic voice. Like an army sergeant.  An authoritative, confident robot.

"Stop it,"  I said. "I'm not a child."

"Yes, you are." the fabric said to me.  You always have been. "You need a hoodie. You need athletic mesh, me, a gunmetal zipper, a drawstring with gunmetal stops, create an interior iPod breast pocket, and go for a run.  Or go to the supermarket. Just make it, slip it on, and go wherever you go. And make a similar version for your son."

"Shut up," I said.  "I've got other things to do."

"Sure, don't we all?" He winked at me. "Just take a swatch.  Go home, and think about what you're missin'.  Hey, stop off at one of those big stores and try to buy a RTW one like what I can do for you.  Good luck with that. I'll line the hood, give the body and interesting band of detail..." 

I took a swatch.

"I'm just $11 a yard.  A yard is more than you need."

"Shut up." I said.

"You'll be back..."


  1. Phew, I'm so glad that I'm not alone hearing fabrics in my head. That robot is certainly a enabler, isn't it?

    1. "Pusher" is a better word. Yes, he's awful.

    2. At least it wasn't a Dalek or Cyberman. ;)

    3. Ah... Dr. Who references... I had to look them up!


I welcome and encourage your comments. Please note that I do reserve the right to delete any comment I deem inappropriate for any reason whatsoever without consent.